She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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