He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You're like the curious george of whores
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
