To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
