her vagine was all disorganized.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
