You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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