So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
