I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
