My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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