Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
