i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
