8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
worst night to have a conscience
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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