We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
