you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My dick has a subreddit
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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