Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
