I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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