I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
