It's just like the Real World with babies
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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