He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
