I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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