coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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