your thong is hanging out like whoa
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
