you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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