bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
