I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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