wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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