it was like his penis was on wheels.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
