Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
