Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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