i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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