16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
