i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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