im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
