Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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