i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
