zippers are such a cool invention
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
