Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
