You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
