I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
