no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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