what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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