operation harelip BJ is a go
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
