Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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