I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
True strength comes from lack of pants
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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