I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
