She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
