I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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