I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
