ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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