I'm really into asian looking animals
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
