dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
